Jesus told me to blog..say what?!?!

After a lot of time in prayer, talking it over with my life group, and listening to sermon after sermon I have heard from the big man above . . .

Jesus has instructed me to blog. . . So here I am returning to my blog from February to bring you more shenanigans that you can hopefully relate to . . .

How did this come about??  Well, recently at my church (questcommunity.com) we started a series about being the impact.  I have always had this feeling that I am suppose to somehow share my testimony, struggles, and daily encounters with God but I suffer from word salad-itis (inflammation of brain that results in my words being scrambled and thrown together similar to a salad)..  Therefore, Jesus knew that behind a keyboard I could do this and it would be raw, fresh, from the heart (he digs that kinda stuff)... So here is kinda an intro to this recent adventure and update on myself since my one and only blog effort of February.

Clayton King, a guest pastor, spoke to Questers and really ignited this idea of becoming a struggling Christian blogger.  As I sat through service it was like my heart kept deciphering through his message and saying "yes this means blog."  After speaking to my life group and reflecting on all the truth they have spoken to me I heard words such as: authentic, funny, honest, real, joy, powerful, motivating, strong...the kind of impact words you wanna hear.  My goal in these blogs to come is not to rant on about my life but to rant on about my life in hopes that you gain something from my experiences, struggles, and leaps of faith.  I'd love to know if there is anything in particular I can help with or if something I say sparks something in you.. I'd love to know my blog efforts are reaching at least one heart!  

After some sleep and reading my Bible I hope Jesus really shows me exactly what I need to blog.  For now I will tell you about my huge leap of faith . . . oh and request your prayers as this is a struggle for me!

For anyone that knows me my background/past/life has been a rocky ride.  That story is for another time.  What you need to know now is that my life has never been stable or secure.  I have always had to find my own path and take matters into my own hands.  My next step was planned based on some sort of end result that was guaranteed.  Faith is belief not based on proof.  Faith is scary.  Not knowing my next move is scary.  Now if you back up and read I always took matters into my own hands and by that I lacked faith and God.  Christians are built on a solid foundation of faith.  How is faith solid?  Faith is not solid unless you are building yourself on a foundation as solid as Jesus.  My most recent and hardest life lesson was this "foreign faith concept."  How do I let go of my life and turn it over to this Jesus guy?  I know He came to die for me on a cross and was sent by his Father.  I know that there is no one on this planet that would send their only son to die for me before I was even born.  So that has got to be love, right? 

All of that made sense and I knew without a doubt that God loved me and was always on my side.  When it came to saying "okay God I want to hand over my life to you and I am going to take the backseat"  I literally went into panic mode.  God may have sent His son to die for me, but God has let me run the show for 24 years and it has went okay so far so why change that up?  Because it was time to go all in and give an unreserved yes to Him!  God isn't a genie in a lamp that you call upon when you need Him.  My life was going okay because HE was there.  I was calling shots and the ones that were all mine were HORRIBLE calls that I almost instantly regretted.  The calls that I have pride in are the ones that God allowed me to claim as my own.  I no longer want to claim anything; I want to proclaim that He is my light, savior, father, friend, and above all My God!  So now I am taking the hugest, scariest, and craziest leap of faith: I am packing up, quitting my job, and traveling the US as a nurse.  Sounds awesome to many but to me it is literally criteria for a nice, padded room..yes that insane!  I have no idea where I am going, who I will meet, or if I will even be happy but I want to be the impact.  I want to run into those people that were once like me, dead.  I want to show them that the worst sinners with the trouble backgrounds are still loved and can be forgiven.  These people deserve to know you can cross over from death to life regardless of their background.  I know this is my calling.  I kept asking God if He was sure and He continued to tell me over and over, louder and louder that I must trust Him.  So I am trusting Him.  I plan to blog my adventures along the way, people I encounter, and ways that Jesus really speaks to my heart.  Today I put in my notice as well as my fellow traveler and best friend.  We have encountered both positive and negative with this decision but we are ready to see what Jesus has in store for us and without a doubt it is going to be amazing!  So follow my blog and/or twitter and you will have a backstage pass to the adventure and brain traffic that accompanies :)  *hugs*